![[Wink]](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiod6L69HqE6MVrVkh99VCXUeQRPCuL0g4TvyK-YkR5ZBoCdKKf-C2tQMHWB-zkAr-JKTsq76DhlZG1Kxu0KB3_Or2_yrP0x43yTMPbH0VWreuoCfIRGzaG-tCykOW1imu4AYTjiDTyUxaJ/s1600-r/wink.png)
Just the cherry on top of a fan-fucking-tastic Monday morning.
There was a reason I had a readers list before, and unfortunately I will not be able to keep this blog open to the public going forward. Someone from work felt the need to forward the link to Dan. He already knew I wrote a blog about my match.com experiences, so this wasn't entirely a surprise to him. I'm sure he was upset and hurt at some of the things he read, which is bad enough. Here's what's worse: people I work with forming professional opinions about me based on a personal dating blog. I can't have that.
So let's analyze a delightful little gem of a comment left by one of Dan's friends.
truthfully, I think this is kind of stupid. Because a. you're going to go with who YOU want to go with and that seems like "Nate." and us giving you our opinions won't change jack shit.
b. you're not in Sex & the City. or some movie. You're fucking with people's lives. Clearly they read this. How would you like to have someone refer to you as "kinda cute, but dumb."
I'm sure your feelings would be hurt and you'd go cry to your girlfriends or maybe even to a blog.
c. I'm all for dating and getting a feel for what's out there, but don't fuck with people's emotions.
lastly, I hope Dan is smart enough to not choose you. You don't deserve someone like him
bye
oh & I just heard you choose Nate. I mean let's be serious, is any one surprised?
xo,
a.
I realize this is one of the consequences of writing a blog. And, dear commenter, you might be surprised by my reaction but... you're right.
I'm not Sex and the City. If I'm 35 and chasing after young tail for a one night stand, you can take me out back and shoot me. I don't have a movie deal. I have a nine-to-six job playing in Excel, and that's not about to change anytime soon.
Some girls fantasize about having to choose between two great guys. I'm not one of them. No matter which way I chose, I lost. Clearly anonymous commenter "A" thinks I'm a manipulative whore who fucks up people's lives for funsies, so I doubt we'll be BFFs anytime soon. But honestly, his/her opinion doesn't matter. Dan's does. So since I wrote about the beginning of our experience on this blog, I'll also write an ending.
Dearest Dan: I know we already worked this out between the two of us and I have no idea why you continue to think so highly of me... but I'm grateful that you do. I understand why your friends are screaming, "GRAB THE TORCH AND PITCHFORK," and I can't for the life of me understand why you're not furious. If you want to catch a Ranger game sometime soon, let me know.
... and that's all, folks. I'll be updating with more stories later but I hope you can all understand why I can't leave this public. Hurting Dan was bad enough, but having people at work judge me for this and not on my mad excel skillz... it can't happen.
Facebook, Twitter, or email me directly and I'll make sure you're on the readers list (unless I work with you, in which case you're shit outta luck.)
xo,
[wink]
---------------------------------
Although I understand why Dan & Co. Could be defensive I think it silly to make this blog private, and suggest you maintain anonymity to future dates about the name/nature/URL of it, instead. Could you imagine missing out on a potential book deal because of that? AS for your coworkers, its a shame they could not see the possibility of your creative growth if editorially discovered. Or maybe they did and are jealous? I think it best you continue writing but consider a new URL and do not share it with those petty people.
ReplyDeleteWe learn from our mistakes and move on. But the important thing is that we learn, which you did. Proud of you!
ReplyDeleteSorry dear. Colleagues can be the cruelest. Hope this doesn't color your job, or your NYC, experience too much.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetheart, if you chose Nate over Dan..I fear you've just let the best thing that you could have had go. Guys like Dan don't come around often, and when they do you're supposed to hold on for dear life! I hope it works out for you and Nate, but I'm pretty disappointed in your choice. Dan screamed loving, among other words that come to mind. I know you made a choice, but was it the right one? Dan's NOT angry, even after all of this? And he's understanding on top of it all? Dearest Wink, I just can not agree with your choice.
ReplyDeleteIt's not too late to look back and stop him before he starts dating someone else. And if I were you, I'd start running now, before you really do lose him.
best,
Jane & Dennis
I wasn't going to comment on this whole thing, but my mind keeps nagging me to. So I'll just say a few things about this whole experience.
ReplyDeleteAm I disappointed in wink's choice, and wish it had gone the other way? Absoloutely I am, and do. Girls like Wink don't come around too often, and when she did, I put my heart on the line, and give all I had. I don't hate her for the things she has said, though I don't know where some of it came from. That said, I feel the need to say this to the commenters (because Wink already knows) : I never cheated on my test, and I'm nowhere in the dumb category. A 3.6 overall gpa is pretty far from the dumb area. I got put on probation with the possibility of dismissal in my second semester for having under a 1.0 gpa. Since then, I have worked my ass off to fix my mistakes. I don't know what the apparent drinking problem was, because I only drink once a month, if that. Did I get jealous? You bet I did. But I bet every commenter would be too given the situation, so don't call the kettle black. After sending those texts, I knew I shouldn't have, and still feel like a jerk for doing it.
Not every guy would wake up for a three am skype-call to come over, and not complain when Wink fell asleep, or even when the night man kicked me out of there, because it all comes from giving it my all. Had wink not fallen asleep that night, things might have been different. But I seem to be living in the past and wondering "what if", so I'll leave it at that.
I was sent this blog (the previous one) Sunday night, and while I knew about it from the beginning, I never read it until then. Even after being sent it and told I was a highlight in it, I still didn't want to read it, but I did. And for the record, I don't agree with "a"'s comments, I think it was in ill taste, and unnessisary.
To "Jane and Dennis", why am I not mad? well, it's like I told Wink; I'm better than that. The only thing getting angry would do is lose a wonderful person in my life, who I still think is worth 100% of my time. As I said, Girls like her don't come around often, and the last thing I'd want to do is lose a friend.
As for that Ranger game..well, they spanked the Wild once, and can do it again. I know they're coming into town soon enough. So lady, yes, I would go to a game with you. I can also tell you that when the Minny stadium's roof collapsed, I was pretty happy about that. And then when the G-Men destroyed the Vikings, I was pretty happy about that as well. I told you I hoped that Minny never wins a title in any sport and their teams become extinct, and I think that's fair enough. I'm pretty sure I like Philly and the Isles over the Wild now.
"Dan"
i vote dan
ReplyDelete